The Relationship Between the Victim of Rape and Their Predator

When a person is raped, they experience many psychological effects, this is as a result of the unwanted sexual imposition. Apart of the psychological effects that was discussed in the article titles the “The Psychological Effects of Rape" there are other effects that impacts the victim. Such effects lends to a very unhealthy unspoken relationship between the victim and the predator.

Over time, this relationship evolves into one of fear on behalf of the victim and subtle aggression on behalf of the predator. This is the type of relationship that develops between the victim who chooses to hide the shame they feel and in the process avoid the societal stigma that is associated with having such heinous defilement imposed upon them.

Most people, who have not been blighted and has suffered the unfortunate experience of being sexually victimized, may not be able to comprehend the chemistry that exists between these two individual (the victim and the rapist). However; because our understanding does not allow us the ability to comprehend this relationship as well as the psychological power the perpetrator has over his subject, in no way mean that such relationships does not exist. In some cases the victim and the aggressor are unaware of the development of a psychological pattern that impacts their behaviors and emotions especially when there is a confrontation of any type (a meeting of the eyes, an encounter on the streets at a function etc). This also includes the awkwardness that occurs when they are forced to interact.

It is important to note that any time a victim of rape or any form of sexual abuse; becomes so afraid of the stigma that is associated with rape and because of their fear’ they cause their predator to escape the long arms of the law and by extension the justice system; they not only deny the system to work on their behalf, they encourage the perpetrator to create new victims, put themselves at a grate long term disadvantage and they deprived themselves of the opportunity of living as normal a life they could ever hope to live under the circumstances.

The predator will become bolder in his demeanor while the victims wither away on the inside. The victims are then forced to spend awaken days planning to avoid a confrontation with their rapist and finding new creative way of ensuring that their secret is kept secure.

In most cases, victims of rape, who chose to remain silence about being raped are often raped again either by the same person or another rapist. You may not know that these sexual predators have developed the predator’s instinct and thus are capable of identifying and isolating easy victims knowing who it is safe to impose upon etc.

As time passes, the victim may even stand up, in the defense of their abuser. This may be done in the hopes that their victimization will not make public; they will deny the inhumane and hideous treatment their predator inflicted on them, and in some cases they will aggressively denounce any victim of their predator who found the strength and courage to stand up and take action against such an individual for sexual the crimes that was committed against them.

In the case of a young person, who were raped and sexually abuse especially if such was done over a prolong period of time; in such cases, as time elapses, the victim becomes more and more like a slave, and very often complying to the sexual pleasures of his/her victimizer who sways a manipulative, psychological control over them. In some cases this unhealthy and unlawful sexual imposition may have been the first and only sexual encounter the person may have ever known and as a result; this unhealthy and unlawful sexual relation becomes normal to the victim. The victim may become entrapped in vicious sexual practices and thus passing down the victim’s personality to their children; creating the environment for their children too become victims of such abuse and or rape.

I must mentioned here, that approximately seventy five percent of the person who were raped were born of/to and were socialized by a dominant parents who were themselves were silent victims (a person who were raped and kept their rape a secret).

It is a common fact that when silent victims of rape or sexual abused are involved or induced to participate in conversation that reflects or portrays their abuser negatively, the victim will often shy away from such conversation and avoid anyone that is critical of the person that has or is praying on them. This is so for fear that the aggressor may discover; the victim were disloyal, thus forcing him to reveal the embarrassing secret they both share; thus exposing the victim, to the shame they spend most of their time; trying to avoid.

The unfortunate things about the victims are: he or she always see his or her self as the victim and therefore fail to see the leverage they hold over the predator. In a community and civilization where, there are laws that are put in place to protect the victim; this give the victims of rape and other sexual crimes much power; unfortunately their fear whether real of perceived hampers them from understand the power they have. The victims of rape who were brave enough to come forward and ensure their predator were exposed and face the justice system actually took back their life and their independence form the predator. These people even without counseling will be/are awarded the opportunity to live as normal a life that is possible under the circumstances. it must be understood, there is no removing the scars of rape but the wounds that were created do not pain as much as they use to.

In order to avoid exposure, the victim try to please his/her sexual exploiter, he or she will try very hard not to anger their sexual predator, and in most case they feel safer when they are isolated. We have the unfortunate story of Jaycee Lee Dugard; who was abducted when she was 11 years old and remained the sexual prisoner of her abductor: Philip Craig Garrido and his wife Nancy, who kept that child hostage for eighteen years even causing her to bear him two children. In the mind of this child, this sexual encounter was the only sexual experience she had ever known and as it was done for an extended period of time, this sick exchange became normal to her.

Unfortunately; in this society that we all love so dearly, we have many victims of rape and sexual abuse who are so afraid of the stigma of rape; and in turn, they are afraid to do anything to upset their rapist or sexual abuser, they do not have an understanding of the power they possess, the power to confront their aggressor before the court of law and see them locked away for a long time and in the process break the victim’s cycle and avoid passing the victim mentality, personality and behavior unto their children.

If you are a victim of rape or sexual abuse, speak up and take back the power your predator had taken from you. Yes you I am speaking to you.

NDP Convention 2010

I listen with intent to most of the speakers that make presentation at the New Democratic Party (N.D.P) convention on Sunday 11th July 2010. I must say that the convention was a well planned function, a sign of the brilliant leadership that is exhibited in Mr. Arnhem Eustace. I enjoy the presentations that were made. I particularly like Burton Williams presentation; however I was disturbed with his choice of words; when he used the word batty, which when used in our Vincentian/Caribbean context is seen as obscene and vulgar but which has a completely different meaning from the contextual way it is commonly used in St. Vincent.

The first question that came to my mind is; is Burton Williams trying to resurrect the old politics for which he was booted out of his elected office for. Mr. Williams please remember, you are now under new leadership, and in a new political era, in this early stage of the game you cannot afford to be suffering relapses such as the one you had on the day of the N.D.P convention 2010. You are a likable man and you have more political experience than most in the party so you have to be an example to those who are politically younger then you are.

Please remember that Arnhem Eustace has been consistent with his message, attitude, behavior and his vocal expression; in doing so he has risen the political standard of St. Vincent and the Grenadines. Burton I give you the benefit of the doubt that this error is just that, an error and not an attitude. Please remember this is not the error of continued apologies, this is an era where men are called upon to live their conviction.

The Leader’s Address:

Unfortunately I did not hear the presentation that was made by the leader of the opposition and the leader of the N.D.P. However someone provided me with a copy of bosses speech. I took my time and I read with interest. In my opinion it is a shorten version of what is to be a powerful manifesto.

It was disturbing to know that although Ralph Gonsalves is going around beating his chest about Education Revolution that the plans he is implementing is a program that was design, by, for and is being implemented by the all O.E.C.S countries, in their effort to create universal access for secondary education. Ralph Gonsalves did not even had the common sense or the decency to change the package in which the program was presented; thus improving the commodity but choose only the change the term by which it is commonly known and sold the program to us as a fresh idea that came from his mind.

I was shock to learn of the high dropout rate and the poor graduation rate that exist within the secondary school community and we are not speaking of the overwhelming number who never made it into the secondary school system. It is also sad to know that the only thing that we export is food and we are importing three times more food than we export. So when we compare the total export earning with the import spending there must be a gaping deficit and as a result the country may very well be accumulating massive foreign debts.

When I see how Arnhem Eustace plan to raise funds to settle the local debt the government have accumulated, which will encourage reinvestment and thus employment, all in an effort to stimulate the economy and in the process encourage economic growth, amazes me. The simple yet feasible plan to give a fresh boos to agriculture and tourism.

So while Ralph Gonsalves is appealing to the eyes of the community, in his effort fool the people by showing off the community centers that they have built all over the country, with no sustainable plan or financing for those projects which is causing the country is falling even further into economic hardship; hurts my heart. There is hope all is not yet lost; we have a leader in Arnhem Eustace, a leader who is looking for creative ways of repairing the damage that Ralph Gonsalves and his U.L.P has created and is creating even now.

                                                                                            Distress sign

But what is even more shameful; is the fact that the only viable commercial entity that the nation has: The National Bank namely: the National Commercial Bank was ran aground by the destructive, interrupting leadership of Ralph Gonsalves. It is clear that Ralph had taken state resources and treats it as if it is his own. He must be blame for the destruction of the nation’s bank. I must say anyone who work in that institution and stood by silence without raising an objective voice is also to be blame for the demise of the Bank. There are some things that is more important than a pay cheque; such things like integrity, honesty and courage to stand up when you see wrong, injustice and corruption.